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Joke of the Day
"I found out how to make my penis 2 inches bigger Just spend a year in space"
Next Joke
"I was at the pet shop, and said ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" ""We don't sell wasps,"" they said. ""Then why do you have one in the window?"""
"""I've got 99 problems."" - Walt Disney after only being able to give two Dalmatian puppies away"
"[At crime scene] Detective: You need to take this seriously Me: I am *picks up leg bone* Me: I found this humerus. Lol. D: You're fired."
"My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, ""I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."""
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the newspaper! ... Didn't get it? Of course not. ..the chicken got it!"
"My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days."
"Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive? He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve."
"What do you call a black man in a ghetto walking around with a boombox on his shoulders? A stereotype"
"[death row] Guard: Any last words? Me: [smugly] photosynthesis. Guard: ... Me: it sounded longer in my head."