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Joke of the Day

"Friday Fun Fact: There's more time spent installing Adobe updates than the actual use of Adobe."

"If someone came to my door & said ""We'll give you a dollar for every plastic bag shoved under your kitchen sink."" I'd be living large."

"What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining."

"What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors."

"[drug test] WEED: what did you get for #15? HEROIN: the teacher said not to share answers. COCAINE: done LSD: this paper tastes like crab"

"Did you hear about the feminist picnic? Yeah, apparently it got cancelled, no one wanted to make the sandwiches."

"Q: How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves"

"What do you call someone who really loves breakfast? A cereal killer."

"I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets' We've already been called the best cover band of all time"

"Did you hear the one about the Virgin marrying the Supermodel? Yeah, me neither.."