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Joke of the Day

"I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets' We've already been called the best cover band of all time"

"Threw this on a chick last night On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?"

"My SO told me that I should stop pretending to be a flamingo I had to put my foot down"

"What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive? Miscarriage"

"Does anyone ever spiral into control?"

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"Did you hear about that guy named Reginald who often visited his local supermarket? Indeed, he was a **reg**ular customer."

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender kicks him out. Argon doesn't react."

"I miss my ex-girlfriend... I can't seem to hit her."

"""Daddy, why don't you kiss me the way you kiss mommy?"" ""Because I love mommy."""