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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side."
Next Joke
"After a few days with family, a padded cell with WiFi sounds like the perfect getaway."
"An alcoholic, a pedophile and a Catholic priest walk in to a bar and the bartender says... [""Oh, Father O'Bannon, you're alone tonight?""](/spoiler)"
"Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously."
"""Inside Amy Schumer"" is funny... As it's a show I never wish to watch, and a place I never wish to be."
"My Mom keeps warning me about talking to strangers on the Internet. I'm 34 now Mom. I don't talk to them. I sleep with them."
"""Are you on Facebook?"" ""No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline"" (Nailed it)"
"Amnesia I was going to tell a joke about amnesia, but I forgot what it was."
"How did the dog make gold soup? He put in 24 carrots."
"You found poison in his stomach? But he HATED poison!"