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Joke of the Day

"My Mom keeps warning me about talking to strangers on the Internet. I'm 34 now Mom. I don't talk to them. I sleep with them."

"Why is the U.S dollar getting stronger? Fiscal therapy"

"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? ...telling your dad you're gay"

"[maintains eye contact while slowly rearranging the dishwasher]"

"Needles What are dull needles good for? Nothing, they're pointless."

"If they added a penis mod to Minecraft... Wouldn't it be called a cock-block?"

"Honesty is the best policy But by process of elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Keep that in mind."

"Why did the Trix bunny hand out eggs? Chicks are for kids!"

"New Band I recently started a new band: We have to play every song in a certain order and we all have to be symmetrical on stage. We're called OC/DC."

"Slightly funny gay joke What doesn't work? A gay dude allergic to nuts"