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Joke of the Day

"""Are you on Facebook?"" ""No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline"" (Nailed it)"

"When i dont understand a joke I read on /r/Jokes I don't get it"

"Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday"

"I've been leaving a dollar in every book I read my entire life for my kids to find when it's my time to go. I'm already up to like 3 bucks."

"Where do cows go on Saturday nights? The slaughter house"

"A Jew, a mathematician and an Irishman enter a bar Bartender says: ""How did you all land up in the wrong joke?"""

"What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!"

"Fishermen are reel men."

"What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? Boy Scouts come back from camp."

"I'm socially constipated... I haven't given a shit in years"