35386
Joke of the Day
"Amnesia I was going to tell a joke about amnesia, but I forgot what it was."
Next Joke
"Yo momma... Is so fat she started a new diet, lost a lot of weight and is doing really well now."
"Doctor, doctor...I've got a strawberry up my butt! That's ok. We've got some cream for that."
"[identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation"
"""I stalk people you've probably never heard of"" -hipster stalker"
"Twitter is going to get very dark when we all get older and are still tweeting from our Alzheimer and dementia riddled brains."
"I slept with a girl the other day, she called me daddy. I guess I have a Freudian prick"
"The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand."
"Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's dead"
"What do you call an alien in a swamp? A MARSHian"