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Joke of the Day

"Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously."

"Where does Sean Connery sit? In the toilet."

"My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD."

"What do you call a snail in the sea? A snailor."

"Context is everything ""Jesus loves you!"" A lovely thing to hear in church. Not so much in a Mexican prison."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? The food's ok, but it has no atmosphere."

"Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl."

"Dogs are just vacuums that want to be rewarded"

"Why does carbon monoxide smell like fjbsjko"

"http://loolzpedia.blogspot.com/2014/08/oxygen.html Oxygen Is Important"