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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its way around a dark closet."

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"Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire? He was born ina 1818."
"Why didn't Princess Diana have very many friends on Xbox Live? All she does is stay on the dashboard."
"""Never go to bed angry"" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years."
"My friends always say that I have narcissistic tendencies. I should get mad... ...but I love when they talk about me."
"What did the botanist say to his assistant ""WATER THOSE!"""
"tomorrow is national microphone day... check 12/12/12"
"Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they're easier to get at the ballpark."
"Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier... if my wardrobe wasn't so fabulous!"
"You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film ""Helicopter Shots of People Walking."""