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Joke of the Day

"""If you know about us Canadians, we like to say sorry..."" ""And if you knew that already... I'm sorry"""

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine."

"If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership"

"Men In Black Men #AddaWordRuinaMovie"

"I caught a fish and let slip I was going to eat him He was gutted"

"My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save."

"A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world! ... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after sex."

"My daughter said she wants to run away. We talked. She knows she can walk. I wont chase her."

"What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood"