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Joke of the Day
"(Offensive) Old enough to count... Old enough to mount ;)"
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"""How did you go in the exam on Nazi invasions?"" ""I blitzed it."""
"A Sinking Boat Clinton, Nixon, and Reagan were on a sinking Boat. Reagan: Women & Children go first Nixon: Fuck the Women! Clinton: You think we have time?"
"I feel like a battery because I am not included in anything :("
"I worry my life exists only so an angel can show the successful me from an alternate universe a vision of how much worse it could have been."
"My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time."
"Im going to nickname my penis 'The Truth'... ...Because you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts."
"So a girl asked me if I was a tits or an ass man.. so I said, well my friends always tell me, ""You're an ass, man!"" Ba dum tiss."
"The Irishman's dilemma. Do you eat the potatoes now or do you let them ferment so you can drink them later?"
"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Bolt can finish a race."