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Joke of the Day

"Dude just knocked on my door... selling raffle tickets for black orphans, I said fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."

"Woke up and poured myself a cup of coffee and then took a nap... So no, technically, Ms. Snooty HR, I didn't sleep through my alarm again."

"In retrospect, when you look back at your own tweets, you cannot help but think how narcissistic you sound."

"If I had a dollar for every time I ever thought of you, I'd probably start thinking about you."

"What's the one thing missing from the offensive jokes on r/jokes? Karma, Whores."

"OC: My wife recently caught me receiving a hand-job from a circus soothsayer. It was truly a stroke of Miss Fortune."

"I was surprised to learn that the Israeli form of martial art was Krav maga... I always thought they used JEWjitzu..."

"I accidentally bumped pretty hard into what I think was a transgender woman Felt like a dick"

"Why do black people only ever have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot."

"I hear Superman is a very overprotective parent. His kids are under constant super-vision."