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Joke of the Day

"Dude just knocked on my door... selling raffle tickets for black orphans, I said fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."

"Why did the zombie not eat your brain? Because he doesn't eat junk food."

"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"

"My girl stayed true and my dog didn't die, I'm sober ~no country song ever."

"Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp"

"A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off."

"A better name for the Pope mobile would be a 'Christler'."

"Why was Hitler so obsessed about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million Jews waiting for him in hell."

"What is the difference between chicken and blondes ? The chicken knows on whose eggs sitting ."

"Justin Bieber was ""Baptized"" last night.... Or as the church likes to call it... ""A failed attempt to drown Bieber"""