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Joke of the Day

"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"

"Me: Will my girlfriend be ok using Chanel 5 if she's never used Chanel 1-4 Salesgirl: *into walkie talkie* security he's back here again"

"Donal Trump supporters have become exactly what they hate: A minority"

"Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. #badpickupline"

"If Obama was really Kenyan he would have won the race by now."

"A koala walks into a barber shop and hops up into the chair. He points to the excess fur that has grown around his ears and asks the barber, ""Can eucalyptus?"""

"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"

"Are there any prostitutes you can hire just to talk to you??? Apparently they are called therapist."

"I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed...."

"And now the most difficult task known to man: Quickly boarding a plane, stowing your carry-on, and sitting the fuck down."