96452

Joke of the Day

"Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp"

"How do you catch a bear? 1. Dig a big hole 2. Fill the hole with ash 3. Place peas all around the hole 4. Finally, when the bear stops to take a pea you kick it in the ash-hole"

"Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though."

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck! Ha ha!"

"""What do you do in your free time? "" ""I stalk. "" ""Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"" ""I know.""."

"To a lot of Americans these days, Donald Trump is just starting to sound like a lot of white noise."

"5k mud runners I hate people that brag about paying $ to run a 5k race in mud. Big deal cause in Africa, that's called Wednesday."

"Question and Answer Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements"

"Mute the voices in your head by eating really crunchy food."

"What the the electrician say to his buddy? Watts up?!"