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Joke of the Day

"Why was Hitler so obsessed about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million Jews waiting for him in hell."

"You know why i hate MCU Thanos? He takes such a long time to cum that he has to use a special fucking glove!! ( get it cuz it's taking him a really long time to get to earth )"

"I like my women like my coffee... Imported, ground up, and in my freezer!!"

"Who was the greatest female author in German history? Ann Schluss. Her books had a way of taking over Czechoslovakia and Austria in particular. edit: Czechoslovakia & Austria"

"So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism. So I reply ""Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"" ~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~ No regrets"

"Why did the ghost go into the elevator? To lift his spirits."

"I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back"

"What's the best drink for a dog? An old faschund."

"I could make some serious money selling nude pics of myself to bulimics with short fingers."

"What was the pig when he got laryngitis...? He was dis-gruntled!"