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Joke of the Day

"Pretty sure that ""Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory"" is the kid's version of ""Saw""."

"what does a british person say to congratulate a friend when he hears they are having their first child after joining a reptile gang? well, chap, you're a propa-gator now."

"Why do women have short feet? So they can stand closer to the sink"

"An archaeologist notices his partner appears to be nibbling a fossil... Curious, he walks over and asks, ""What you got there?"" ""Not sure"", replies the fellow, ""But you have got to try-a-lil'-bite!"""

"What do you say to a handicapped dog? ""Stay"""

"Did you hear about the fire at the Governor's mansion in Alabama? The whole trailer park burned down."

"Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies."

"[Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: ""What's his name?"" Parent: ""Ethan."" Me: ""The movie's starting, Ethan."""

"What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard? Nothing, he's Snowden."

"Did you know the bible was written by M. Night Shyamalan? The plot twist was crrraaazzy. Jesus was a jew the whole time"