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Joke of the Day

"Did you know the bible was written by M. Night Shyamalan? The plot twist was crrraaazzy. Jesus was a jew the whole time"

"A man goes to a psychiatrist... ...and he's holding a duck by the belly. The psychiatrist asks, ""Can I help you?"" The guy responds, ""Idunno. I've just been feeling down."""

"The restaurant said they couldn't seat me right away due to lack of waiters I said, ""That's alright, I'll wait""."

"It's like my cat doesn't even appreciate it when I take the time to rake his litter box like a Zen Garden."

"Knock knock Whos there? Im a peace op! Im a peace op who?"

"Saudis Arabia recently got siri Saudi Arabian: Siri,call my wife Siri:which one?"

"Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark? Because black people can't swim."

"How do you kill a blonde? There are three ways; -put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool -a mirror at the bottom of a pool -or put a condom on the top of a flag pole"

"Based on the seemingly random things my autocorrect suggests I sometimes wonder if it is trying to communicate with me."

"Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it."