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Joke of the Day

"Did you know the bible was written by M. Night Shyamalan? The plot twist was crrraaazzy. Jesus was a jew the whole time"

"It's still Valentines day for another hour.. Roses are red Violets are blue No, they are violet FTFY"

"Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony? He was feeling a little horse."

"So I broke my Nokia today."

"What is the size of women in Italy? Itali-cized."

"*gets woken up by a tap on my shoulder* ""Daddy, how do you get yogurt out of the toaster when it's done toasting?"""

"[guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] ""Who's president?"" Barack Obama ""Braco? Sounds Mexican"" Nope ""Whew"" You might want to sit down"

"What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo."

"Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over? A: A dirty double crosser."

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."