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Joke of the Day

"Why do women have short feet? So they can stand closer to the sink"

"She:Hey,Whats up? Me:Onion prices. S:You know what I mean,like What's crackin'? M:Nutshells. S:Really?Fine.What's poppin? M:Corn. *Blocked*"

"PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, ""You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!"" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert."

"Just bought lean chicken breasts instead of hot wings for supper because I'm a stupid fucking mature adult."

"I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere."

"If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody is around to hear it... Then hipsters would buy the soundtrack."

"You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you want to skydive twice."

"Three advantages of Alzheimers One: You meet new people everyday. Two: On Easter Day you can hide your own eggs. Three: You meet new people everyday."

"What's the difference between a joke and 3 dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I went to Costco the other day... As I was checking out the cashier asked me "" Do you wanna box?"" I said ""No, but I'll wrestle you!"""