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Joke of the Day

"Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies."

"What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth? RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!"

"Why don't you have sex with a nameless man? Because no matter what you call him, he won't come. Edit: spelling"

"The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat."

"WARNING: DO NOT TRY AND EAT WARREN BUFFET. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUFFET AND IS NOT MADE OF FOOD"

"Hello, you're through to Sea World Your call may be used for training Porpoises."

"One time a friend said that he ""ain't never had no nothing"". It remains the only time where I have heard someone use a quadruple negative."

"what do you call a magical dog? A Labracadabrador."

"The church across the street opened a new Jesus-themed ferris wheel. Their accountant told me they needed it to turn a prophet."

"The next President of the United States. The joke is in the title , but it makes me cry."