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Joke of the Day

"When people say they hate getting stuck in revolving doors: I tell them, ""you'll come around eventually!"""

"Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche"

"A guy forgot to pay his exorcist... He got repossessed."

"Last year, I went to study abroad and I am NOT HAPPY about it! This year, my girlfriend is going to study a dude."

"On one hand, I want to stop masturbating but on the other hand, I have my penis..."

"I used to own a shop which sold 'Closed' signs... It didn't do very well. I had them all up in the window, but no-one ever came in."

"Look Disney all I'm saying is that if my stepdaughter brought a bunch of birds and mice into my mansion I'd make her clean up that shit too."

"Jackie Chan is implicated in the Panama Leaks. This must be some sort of kung-fulery."

"Rosetta Stone is the fastest way to learn how to pronounce the names of Ikea products."

"How do you become a hobbit? Eat, shrink and be Merry!"