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Joke of the Day
"Why don't tampons talk to maxi-pads? Because they're stuck-up cunts."
Next Joke
"HR: And what would you say is a weakness of yours? Me: Lindt truffles. HR: Me: Dr. Pepper. HR: Me: Redheads....? *winks* HR: Get out."
"""Your teeth are like the stars"" he said As he pressed her hand so white. He spoke the truth for like the stars Her teeth came out at night!"
"Every day, for the last two years, I've been putting something aside for a rainy day... ... But what am I going to do with 500 umbrellas and 200 pairs of wellies?"
"I don't love being single but I do love being happy."
"[serial killers talking] Anyway I stood there for like 10 minutes, but she never wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror so I just left"
"Where have you been all my life? Please go back there."
"GARY: ""You wanna?"" BARRY: ""Ugh. Jesus OK."" (Siamese twins deciding to masturbate)"
"Ever notice that Reddit is obsessed with correcting mistakes? Me to."
"Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer."