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Joke of the Day

"HR: And what would you say is a weakness of yours? Me: Lindt truffles. HR: Me: Dr. Pepper. HR: Me: Redheads....? *winks* HR: Get out."

"Giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beth ! Beth who ? Beth wisheth thweetie !"

"I think I'm going to take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it..."

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting nailed to the boards."

"Why don't you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"Apparently Miley Cyrus called out Taylor Swift for being a bad role model It sounds like Miley has some Bad Blood."

"Neil Armstrong: now where did I park my car? [presses key button] [tiny orange light flashes on the moon] god dammit"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? Elephant grape sine theta"

"I'm addicted to brake fluid... ....but I can stop whenever I want."