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Joke of the Day

"I just love that new Pope smell."

"Who's your dad's cousin's cousin's daughter to you? A potential Tinder date."

"What's brown & rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre."

"Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul? Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel."

"Trump wants to appoint Ben Carson to the Department of Education, but I think he would do better in the FDA He can feed everyone with all of the grain in those pyramids."

"Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac"

"Girl on Facebook Heyy i have not seen u since high school. Me. It's been a while. Her. Yea been married 6 years now : ) Me. Unfriend"

"An electrician walks into intensive care and yells: Hold your breaths, I am about to start replacing circuit breakers'"

"I'm the skeptical guy in the infomercial audience. I didn't believe a $20 food chopper could be such a good value. guess what. I was wrong."

"Today, the tree my family planted 15 years ago died and had to be cut down. I'm mourning wood."