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Joke of the Day
"Today, the tree my family planted 15 years ago died and had to be cut down. I'm mourning wood."
Next Joke
"Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer? Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!"
"A skeleton walks into a bar The bartender says, what will you have? Skeleton says, a beer... and a mop"
"Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say ""Safe in your strong arms"" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years."
"I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby."
"Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they're the problem is the other half."
"Black paint Political correctness has gone to far these days. You cant even say black paint any more, you have to say ""Tyrone, please will you paint my house?"""
"What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him? Get bent!"
"If any pandas are reading this: neat!"
"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flags a big plus."