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Joke of the Day
"What's brown & rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre."
Next Joke
"What does Hillary Clinton call a Trump supporting turtle warming itself in the sun? A basking deplorable"
"It's important to set goals. You don't have to accomplish them or anything like that. Just set them."
"I'm trying this Paleo lifestyle where I live in constant fear and die at the age of 28"
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, feminists don't change anything"
"So I went to the club last night and asked a German girl for her number... and you'll never believe it! Her number is 999-999-9999!"
"ENTER PASSWORD > bench85 PASSWORD TOO WEAK. TRY AGAIN. > bench285 BRO!"
"The best thing about being an accountant is that everyone assumes you're not a psychopath."
"I'll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap."
"Things I haven't seen in a while: 1) the 2yo I'm babysitting today 2) a man 3) my waist-line 4) my imaginary goat, Bill 5) my sanity"