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Joke of the Day

"[ignores the worlds evils] Oh wow this is a lot easier"

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"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"" (as told by my Irish granddad)"
"What is a Christians Favorite Insect? The Praying Mantis"
"How do you feel when you don't have coffee? Depresso."
"I went to see my Coincidental Hygenist the other day. Turns out she was one of my friends from high school."
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you."
"Why did the hoover not make the football team? Because he sucked With love and sexy things from Jaques x"
"A black man walks into a bar... ...with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender exclaims, ""Wow! How exotic! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" Says the parrot."
"My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It runs out faster for fat people."