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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out."

"I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?"

"90s Kids won't get this............ Social Security Benefits."

"Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!"

"Xerxes I is the most successful carpet dealer. He went to the West with a million Persians and came home with only a handful of them."

"What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk."

"""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" In 2020."

"For those possibly wondering why the popularity of the emo movement disappeared If your social group is defined by a suicidal nature, don't expect it to last a long time"

"My wife's been missing for two weeks and the police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the Goodwill and got her clothes back."

"I bought a lottery ticket the other day. I didn't win anything. I've come to the conclusion that the lottery is a bunch of balls."