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Joke of the Day

"""How's your sexual history?"" Well doc, if i had to summarize it in one word it would be ""deletable"""

"What movie did Ray Charles go to see in 1993? Jurassic Dark"

"I would make a sexist joke but... That would be wrong, and being wrong is for women."

"If you think it hurts to lose a boyfriend/girlfriend, you've clearly never lost close to 500 GB's worth of data on your hard drive."

"Like most movies. I show big things in my trailer."

"What's the difference between a bitch and a slut? A slut will fuck everybody in the room a bitch will fuck everybody in the room, except for you."

"If we could master the look dogs have when we're eating in front of them, we'd be able to have sex with any woman at will."

"I wanted to make friends but I had no facebook So I went out on the street and started shouting what I cooked, ate or drank. Right now I've got 3 followers - two cops and a psychiatrist"

"What do you call love between a Dick and an Asshole? Tainted Love"

"My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat"