20366

Joke of the Day

"I'm a racist I think the human race is the best one."

"There's a moron in every office. They usually get paid more than you."

"ME: Man, Nosferatu is a good film HIPSTER: I preferred the original M: Original? What original? H: Nosfera One."

"Why did Bill Nye crash his car? Because inertia is a property of matter."

"What do grapefruit and women have in common? The best ones squirt when you eat them."

"What do you call a pessimistic cupcake? A Little Debbie downer."

"My goal weight is to stop hearing 'you have a great personality'"

"What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes? ""Uh-oh, spaghetti hoes!"""

"Being a procrastinator with OCD means that I do nothing over and over and over again."

"Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill."