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Joke of the Day

"Being a procrastinator with OCD means that I do nothing over and over and over again."

"The real reason women will never be the ones to propose... As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants."

"How are dildos and tofu alike? They're both meat substitutes."

"*school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm"

"What's the difference between a peeping tom and a rapist? A rapist doesn't waste time beating around the bush"

"TIL Tim Gibbons, a reclusive gastroenterologist, has the only fart preserved in a jar on record since 1983... *owner of a lonely fart*"

"I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal. AND THEY'RE OFF!!"

"I looked at a penny under the microscope. What I saw was magnificent."

"Feminism thats the joke"

"What does E.T stand for? Because he hasn't got a chair!..... sorry."