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Joke of the Day

"Being a procrastinator with OCD means that I do nothing over and over and over again."

"Why is the new Brexit diet so popular? All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling."

"What happened to the adhesive suicide bomber? He glue up."

"How many ""can't""s can a white girl ""can't"" before she literally can't even? my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day."

"There's a cricket living outside my apartment. I'm all ""Cricket, it's winter, shouldn't you die?"" and he's all ""Chirp!"" and we laugh."

"My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets. I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads."

"What is a pirates favourite letter It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty. (New original take on old joke)"

"I also have a Vampire joke, but I won't tell it to you. Because it sucks."

"What do you call a person with no nose or body? Nobody nose!"

"Whats the worst animal to play cards with? A Cheetah."