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Joke of the Day
"What do grapefruit and women have in common? The best ones squirt when you eat them."
Next Joke
"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year"
"My favorite part of a marathon is... My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka."
"What do you call four condoms who play music together? A rubber band."
"How many deadbeat dads does it take to change a lightbulb? I wouldn't know, mine's never around. (Alternately: ""Well, he went out to get one..."")"
"What did Hitler call his favorite piece of furniture? Mein Kampfy Chair"
"Someone asked me why my name isn't on the cover of my book. I explained that it's a practice of humility. ""Ahh, so why then is your name on the title page?"" ""I'm not that humble!"""
"What's the difference between me and my couch? My couch pulls out."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don't come to work :("
"I don't have a problem with 5p carrier bags, I have a bag for life, ever since I got married last year. ^^"