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Joke of the Day

"What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes? ""Uh-oh, spaghetti hoes!"""

"Just got 30 orange oval stickers printed that read NOW HAMSTER FREE I'm putting them on all the meatloaf packages in this supermarket"

"Me: How awful do I look? Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on? Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No."

"One. How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"English If you ever have trouble remembering the difference between ""lead"" and ""lead"", just remember that ""lead"" sounds like ""read"" and ""lead"" sounds like ""read""."

"I like to finish everyone's drinks at parties and then call them out for being drunks."

"How to make money on youtube? Step 1. Submit a false claim Step 2. Collect that money Step 3. ???? Step 4. Massive profit for doing nothing"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid to have a lentil on me."

"What kind of porn do blind people watch? (NSFW) Ebony"

"Since joining twitter I've started 2 new collections .......... Dust and cobwebs !"