203024

Joke of the Day

"President Obama just signed a law banning mobile phones in prisons. Well there goes about half of my followers"

"An alligator decided to have unprotected sex... Now he has Gatorades."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue...? ... he drank his coffee *before it was cool.*"

"""I'm on my way."" -People who haven't even left the house yet."

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? Gaelic"

"God: sends you to hell for aborting your 'child'.nGod: killed his only son.nAnd that, ladies & gentlemen, is religion in a nutshell."

"Three virgins go into a bar; a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Hours later out come a blonde, a brunette, and a virgin. ....Ginger Snap!"

"Pretty cool how money could literally solve all my problems."

"Childhood is like getting drunk.. ... everyone remembers what you did except you."

"The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it."