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Joke of the Day

"God: sends you to hell for aborting your 'child'.nGod: killed his only son.nAnd that, ladies & gentlemen, is religion in a nutshell."

"One Eskimo said to the other, ""Where is your mother from?"" The second Eskimo says ""Alaska."""

"What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart? An actress."

"What type of store doesn't move? A stationary store."

"I read quantum physics magazines for the particles."

"When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams."

"Don't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"What do you call a drunken Muslim? Mohammered"

"How do u get a pool table to laugh? tickle its balls."

"Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends."