2026

Joke of the Day

"The nice thing about being a pessimist is that in the end you are either pleasantly surprised or you have the satisfaction of knowing you were right all along."

"A duck walks into a drug store. He says ""Give me some chap stick."" The cashier asks ""Will that be cash or credit?"" The duck says ""Just put it on my bill."""

"Arguing with a woman is a lot like reading a license agreement By the end, you ignore everything and just click ""agree""."

"Pretty sure that I could win any marathon in Kenya that is held on the exact same day as the Boston Marathon."

"There were two guys fishing... Suddenly a hedgehog passes by and asks them: -""Hey guys do you have any glue""? They answer no and he leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back. -""I brought some"""

"What do you tell a person who is about to jump off a bridge and commit suicide ""Don't do it! You have so much potential"""

"Man who go to bed with itchy bum Wake up with smelly finger. Is fact."

"Why don't they teach sex ed and drivers ed at the same time in Mexico? Because it's too hard on the donkey."

"[David Attenborough narrating my life] Once again the young offspring attempts to leave the nest. Once again he has flown into a wall"

"What is the best part about raping a midget? Their arms are too short to hold you back."