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Joke of the Day

"There were two guys fishing... Suddenly a hedgehog passes by and asks them: -""Hey guys do you have any glue""? They answer no and he leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back. -""I brought some"""

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"What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common? Liberal Arts Degrees."
"How do you circumcise a whale? You need four skin divers"
"Why do Muslims hate Hitler? My friend told me this 'joke' after he found out I was Muslim. Him: Why do Muslims hate Hitler? Me: Why? Him: He didn't kill ALL the Jews."
"A guy picks up a prostitute After they're done she says: I feel so loved. You fuck like a god! As they start smoking a cigarette in bed she asks: By the way, why do you have holes in your hands."
"My ex-girlfriend was an opera singer. With her it was always ""me me me"""
"A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leadind a kangaroo.""I'm worried about my husband doctor "" she said. ""He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! """
"[car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that"
"You guys wanna hear a joke? Ellen Pao"
"I'm writing a theatrical work on puns It's a play on words."