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Joke of the Day

"Pretty sure that I could win any marathon in Kenya that is held on the exact same day as the Boston Marathon."

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire."

"A classic from when we were kids A man walks into a bar... And says ""Ow!"""

"I found The Theory Of Everything It was in the blu-ray box at Walmart."

"How do you find a dead body? Download Pokemon GO."

"What was the pig when he got laryngitis...? He was dis-gruntled!"

"After I got divorced, my former wife told me about a movie she gave 2 thumbs up that I should definitely take the kids to see. I told her, ""That wouldn't be appropriate. That movie is ex-rated"""

"The car you buy should say something about you, and not just ramble on about itself like you're not even there."

"You don't love Dunkin' Donuts coffee, you love heavy cream."

"I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you."