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Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal makes your hole weak."

"My boyfriend said we can't hang out this weekend because he doesn't exist."

"Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, ""I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."" Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means."

"When a guy shaves his head bald and wears a sweatband, the top of his head looks like a stick of roll-on deodorant."

"Has anyone else noticed that the symbol ""&"" looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?"

"So America won gold for shooting in the Olympics. No suprise there."

"Lawyer: did your boyfriend commit the crime? Girlfriend: honey he can't even commit to this relationship Entire jury: OH SNAP"

"[Home invasion] Me: isn't there anything ELSE you want to take? Burglar: lady I told you I'm married"

"If your job ever feels pointless... just remember somebody is the fact checker for Buzz Feed."

"Jimmy Savile wasn't all bad; He had a profound and lasting impact on music... Backstage at Top of the Pops, it was him who introduced Cream to Small Faces"