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Joke of the Day

"Jimmy Savile wasn't all bad; He had a profound and lasting impact on music... Backstage at Top of the Pops, it was him who introduced Cream to Small Faces"

"What did the jack say to the car? ""Can I give you a lift?"""

"Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights."

"What's the best part about a selfie stick? You don't have to look far to find something to beat the user of one in the head."

"A brown bear and a polar bear fall into the water. Which one dissolves? The polar bear, because he's polar!"

"I don't understand ads on p0rn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like ""woah! that's the new detergent?"""

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."

"Bisexual girls are like spaghetti. Straight until wet."

"A Muslim guy killed 50 people in a mass shooting... Who says they can't integrate into American culture?"

"""I'm sorry, sir, cash or credit only."" The rain sadly puts its check away. 21st century technology has not been kind to him."