202081

Joke of the Day

"What subject did the Warlock major in at University? Fel-osophy"

"If the pen is mightier than the sword... ... Then why do actions speak louder than words?"

"Sorry I didn't text you back, but my body is like 70% water and I really didn't want to mess up my phone."

"Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it."

"I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet. I had to do hand stands in the shower."

"Happy Womens Day They say a womans work is never done... Perhaps that's why they're paid less?"

"What's bad about wetting your bed? Urine it."

"Because it pisses off r/funny Why would I type the punchline in the title?"

"I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping."

"How do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree"