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Joke of the Day

"I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping."

"What's the difference between a normal woman and a witch? The spelling Teehee"

"""YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"" - I yell at the McDonalds drive thru cashier after she tells me its 25 cents more for extra BBQ sauce."

"I'm a really green person, but only because I hate the oceans."

"ACTORS: It's easy to appear blind. Look near but never at someone when you talk to them, and if anyone says ""Did you see that?"" say ""Nope""."

"What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty"

"What is the difference between being horny and hungry? Where you put the cucumber."

"Why do jewish men like latinas? Because chicsas are hot!"

"Donald Trump calls on Hillary to shut down her foundation. Meanwhile, we're all still begging him to choose a more natural color for his."

"House for sale. Spider on ceiling."