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Joke of the Day

"Control this is astronaut Douglas sending transmission from the Milky Way..we have no signs of chocolate..or caramel..I'd like to come home"

"""What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"" ""GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?"""

"Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart"

"what fandom, despite only 1 book in the franchise, has been obsesing over it since the begeinning? christianity"

"It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt...and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back."

"Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once."

"When I die I want my body donated to science Specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life."

"Now then - what's an oxymoron?"

"In the words of my dead grandmother..."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the shit out of the dogs."