201582

Joke of the Day

"Why did Hillary Clinton had her campaign chairman John Podesta send the crowd home from the Clinton HQ? She 'accidently' deleted the email with her consession speech."

"What do you call a man who cleans your house? Dustin."

"My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me... But toucan play at that game"

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with but I've been tripping all day."

"Two women are gardening when one pulls up a huge carrot, she says ""this reminds me of my husband"" and the other woman says, ""that big?"" and the first one says ""No, that dirty."""

"What joke is the darkest? Fire away please! I want to hear it all!"

"My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog."

"A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal he sees there is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"Those Islamic's coming to america? Hostages."

"If a penis/vagina was asked to judge your appearance it would probably say.... Urinate"