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Joke of the Day

"It's weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That's like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing."

"ISIS should hire me... I have a lot of experience when it comes to bombing, especially on final exams."

"Scientists have discovered what lowers women's sex drive... Wedding cake"

"How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. It *has* to be seven."

"What would reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets"

"Saw a sticker that said ""my son was an honor student"". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now"

"two deer are leaving a gay bar one turns to the other and says ""I cant believe I blew 40 bucks in there"""

"Built a TV news desk in the living room. Area wife very upset."

"Just bought my gay son some Brunchables"

"What sound does an octopus make? A squid word."