107903
Joke of the Day
"Just bought my gay son some Brunchables"
Next Joke
"I'm not one to brag about my financial skills, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding. ~ Rob DenBleyker (Cyanide & Happiness)"
"Says I get this funny feeling that people are reading the things I type here but maybe I'm just being paranoid."
"The government have announced new measures to stop migrants from getting into England Henceforth, Chelsea fans will be in charge of security at Calais."
"What do you call a waterfall which causes erections? Viagra Falls"
"(x) calls up a popular restaurant... The owner says, ""Sorry, we don't cater functions."""
"[son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?"
"Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs I said: Oh strange! It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs? I said: no, the fact that you talk"
"Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza... Guess I should've put it on aloha temperature."
"Adblock can't melt Ellen Pao."