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Joke of the Day

"two deer are leaving a gay bar one turns to the other and says ""I cant believe I blew 40 bucks in there"""

"What did the man say to the giant squid? What's kraken? JAJAJAJAJJAJJAJA"

"If there's a God then how come sometimes tomatoes get slightly too soft and then feel weird in your mouth?"

"What's the difference between sex and a slice of pizza? It takes me longer to eat the pizza"

"Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you're 35 and realise it's a chilling documentary."

"Why did the masturbating murderer turn himself in? He came to his senses."

"Have you seen my LSD? No but have you seen the Dragon in the kitchen?"

"Commonwealth Games: Building unrealistic goals and dreams for British athletes going to the olympics since 1930."

"Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond Bond, James Bond."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!"