201001

Joke of the Day

"If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss"

"Why should a man never bang his best friend? He'll probably catch fleas"

"GPS: leftleft againtake another leftur gonna want to take this leftstay left NASCAR DRIVER: why is there a gps in here"

"Wife: Don't you think the yard needs to be mowed? (from my recliner I check google maps satellite view of our house) Me: It looks fine to me"

"No matter how kind you are ... German children will always be Kinder"

"I need a bed that pops me out like a toaster."

"How many bears would Bear Gryll grill if Bear Gryll could grill bears? I dunno, but PETA would be **pissed**."

"How do mesquite trees get taller? They stand on their mesqui-toes!"

"I just ran over a tree, a 5'2"" blonde screaming tree with a purse."

"What's a zombie's favorite snack? Fritos"