200717
Joke of the Day
"I need a bed that pops me out like a toaster."
Next Joke
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar.. One says to the other: ""I can't believe I just blew 40 bucks in there."""
"How do you get a redneck to suck your dick? Put Ranch on it..."
"I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish."
"When a movie says ""Based on a true story."" it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people."
"So Jeffrey Dahmer goes to the doctor... After some tests, the doctor tells Jeffery that he's tested positive for Hepatitis. Jeffrey responds ""It must of been something I ate."""
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It'll take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid."
"Interviewer: ""So why should we hire you?"" Me: ""Cause I need a job very badly."" Interviewer: ""So?"" Me: ""And you have a vacancy. BINGO"""
"Did you hear about the farmer who was a heroin addict? He had to quit in the end, because he couldn't find a needle in a haystack."
"Two pretzels were walking down the street... ...one was a salted."