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Joke of the Day

"""Hey girl wanna go out Saturday night?"" No thanks I have a previous engagement ""I'm cool with that, hell I've been married like 6 times"""

"How does one robber ask another how they're doing? ""How are you holding up?"""

"I just saw the end of the world coming Watching it gave me multiple orgasms"

"Some people can't stand being in a wheelchair"

"When I first went on the pill, I put on a bit of weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive."

"What crime did the tree commit to be put in tree jail? Treeson"

"Two melons have a secret love affair... One melon says to the other, ""baby, I love you so much. I just wanna sneak away and get married right now."" The other responds, ""no, we cantaloupe."""

"Wanna hear a good one liner? 1 Dimension"

"sure the Victoria's Secret models are pretty, but I bet not one of them ever finds a Cheeto in her bra"

"Really Smooth. I lied told my dad that school was canceled. He said,"" lets go see a movie."" We got in the car and he dropped me off at school."