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Joke of the Day

"How many bears would Bear Gryll grill if Bear Gryll could grill bears? I dunno, but PETA would be **pissed**."

"What's the difference between a midget and black people? A midget is a small problem. Black people are a huge problem."

"Menstruation jokes are not funny. Period."

"*early humans discovering sleepiness* noooo!! what is this, im shutting down? dying??? *waking up later* wow, i love that. gonna do it a lot"

"Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'. Sorry about your dad, though"

"Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: ""Make a fright turn at the corner."""

"Oh, you left me a voicemail? Next time just tape a note to the door of the apartment I moved out of six years ago."

"Always check the height of any nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders.... How I learned this is not important..."

"Drug dealers are always late. If your drug dealer is on time, it's the police."

"I screwed one of my fans. Safe to say it blew me all night."